gnarly:

*snapchats and texts the same person at the same time*

(via dragonriderscomingthrough)

meladoodle:

godlykesha:

meladoodle:

one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’

is this the same dad that once called you dad

no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in my home lab in the basement. speaking of that, the three armed one just got out again god damnit

(Source: meladoodle, via hotwhiteguy)

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

(via hotwhiteguy)

fitnessfoodfabulous:

astheoddityfallsdown:

veganvibez:

Why is it such a hard concept to grasp that cows milk is for baby cows and not humans

why is it such a hard concept to grasp that soy milk is for baby soybeans and not humans

why is it such a hard concept to grasp that trix are for kids and not rabbits

(via hotwhiteguy)

vvankinq:

Go on, tell them I ate your homework. They’ll never believe you.

vvankinq:

Go on, tell them I ate your homework. They’ll never believe you.

(Source: awwww-cute, via crrocs)

If you ever figure me out, please teach me who I am.

William Chapman  (via moaka)

(Source: williamchapmanwritings, via puerile-audacity)

nijuukoo:

staff:

staff:

We updated the tumblr video player and added notifications whenever someone answers you ask.

April Fools

image

(Source: nonstaff, via teenytigress)

(Source: foie, via hotwhiteguy)

(Source: ginervas, via hotwhiteguy)

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(via teenytigress)

nivalingreenhow:

when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

(via teenytigress)

Me: *Watching Mulan* *Awesome drumbeat starts*
Me: I will not sing.
Me: I will not sing.
Me: I will n- LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

(via dolphant)

What’s the McCall pack motto gonna be or what are your personal mottos
to calm you down?

(Source: teen-wolf, via kripke-is-my-king)